Mushroom Swiss Burger

One bite and the rest of the world ceases to exist.  You are one with the salty fatty mushroomy cheesy beefy awesomeness of the mushroom swiss burger.

Who needs prozac when you could make this.

Normally, I put tips and tricks at the bottom, but these are so fucking important for your burger I am going to put them at the top with obnoxious use of bolding and uppercase.

  • Your ground beef must be at least 20% FAT.  at least
  • Your ground beef must be COLD when it hits the pan. COOOOLD, not frozen.
  • Your cast iron pan must be ripping hot.
  • You must cook your burger to medium, no more, NO LESS.
  • There are no buns but potato buns.
  • There will be mayo on your bun.
  • Lettuce and tomato are for salad NOT FOR BURGERS.
  • Save the ketchup and mustard for SOMETHING ELSE. Like fries.



  • 1/4 lb 20+% ground beef per burger.  I’ll say it again, AT LEAST 20%
  • 4 cremini mushrooms per burger sliced as thin as your knife skills allow
  • 1 medium shallot per 4 burgers sliced
  • Butter (1 tbs per burger)
  • Worcestershire sauce
  • Mix of 2 parts kosher salt, 1 part pepper, 1 garlic powder, 1 part mustard powder
  • Swiss Cheese
  • Potato Buns
  • Mayo


  1. In a skillet, over medium low heat, melt butter
  2. Sweat shallots till soft, don’t forget to salt
  3. Add mushrooms and cook till soft
  4. Meanwhile, take out your ground beef, put into a metal bowl, and spread it out
  5. Sprinkle the mix (1/2 tbs – 1tbs per pound depending on how salty you like your burger) on the meat
  6. Fold the meat a few times, be gentle
  7. Portion into 1/4 lb balls (use your scale)
  8.  Place balls in freezer for 10 minutes
  9. Put the buns on your serving vessel, apply mayo
  10. Meanwhile, get your skillet ripping hot
  11. When it’s go time, take the balls, mash them into a patty in your palms
  12. Put them into your skillet, and mash them down with the back of your spatula
  13. let them sit undisturbed for 2 minutes and 30 seconds
  14. Flip, Mash, place one slice of cheese on each patty
  15. Cover pain loosely with foil.
  16. Cook burgers 2 minutes and 30 seconds
  17. Meanwhile, add a splash of worcestershire sauce to the mushrooms.
  18. Taste mushrooms add salt + pepper as required
  19. When cooking is done, evac burgers directly to buns
  20. Top generously with mushrooms
  21. Eat *ASAP*


Everyone thinks they make the best burger.  They are wrong, I do.  Thanks to the hundreds of recipes, television shows, and unsolicited advice from random people i’ve gotten over the years.


Categories: Mains

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